The unacceptable behaviors (antisocial) in young children

Small children often react negatively at their contact with other children than with their parents. They hit, scream, refuse to share a toy, lie, say bad words... You may have already seen these behaviors in your child. How to help to avoid these behaviors that harm the relations with others?

• Aggressive child
• The child who refuses to share
• The child who lies
• The child who appropriates
• The child who says rude words

Aggressive child

When they have strong emotions or they want to get what they want, small children are impatient, they break toys, hit or bite. These gestures are aggressive; you need to show very early of your children that such actions are unacceptable. Your role as a parent is primary. Therefore it is important to help the child to develop his ability to control and manage his emotions.

In fact, thanks to the rules taught in kindergartens and at home, a child can learn to live in a group and to respect others (with their "differences") and things (objects, toys, food ...). To do this, you must send a very clear message for aggression: it cannot make a profit when acting aggressive and disrespectful.
The study of social behaviors starts very early. For example, when the baby is five months the bite of the mother's breast must be followed by her message: "No, you should not do that!" Later, a child of about two years, which wants to use the rink in the park, it should arrange on line and wait his turn.

Then, about three or four years, your child begins to communicate with other children his age. It wants to show his friends that he applies "the rules of the game." However, it is particularly sensitive to the approval of his parents and wants to satisfy them. Take time to praise your child when he takes action waiting his turn, when he shares, when he asks before taking an item, then it will have a positive effect.

However, it must remember that respect remains very abstract concept until the age of four years. Before that child is not able to put himself in the place of others and to understand the other point of view than its own. Furthermore, we should know that showing respect conflicts with "phase of NO" in which it passes. This phase of acceptance of himself where the child needs pushing, hitting, biting, to speak loudly, exaggerating his anger is normal and it is an important stage of development: the child begins to realize its power and wants to control the universe.

The child who refuses to share

Small child has the impression that everything belongs to him, unless you explain that some things are not only owned by him and they can be wished by other children. For a child, the toys are continuation of it. Therefore, to share them is to leave part of him. Therefore the majority of conflicts between small children are conflicts of ownership.

Gradually, your child will learn what belongs to him, to be able to create favorable relationships with friends and keep them. From 3 years old, children are able to share their toys, but it is a short period. Children 4 years old are able to exchange ideas and toys.

However, your child is able to be generous when you make a drawing or something else to offer it. If he still cannot understand the concept of sharing, he knows what it is to please someone giving him something that he did.

The child who lies

Before the age of 6, children confuse reality and fantasy. Most of the time they do not "lie": they hide, decorate or transform the truth.

If the small child has active imagination "it is a sign of good emotional health," wrote the American pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton. The small child loves to tell stories and makes it interesting. Very often, it only admits that he wanted to "tell a story". Only after four years, he has learned that one story could have negative consequences for him and others. At the same time, he explains that this is not good and it shows tolerance.

The child, who takes items without permission

Some children take and hold objects that they do not belong. You may have already found a small toy from the garden at the bottom of the pocket of your child or a piece of candy in his hands from the grocery store. It is important to work on these behaviors to enable the child to understand his gesture without dramatize however. Remember what your child thinks during the period of preschoolers that everything belongs to him as long as we do not tell him, but it is not so! This is for you, parents, to be his "conscience" while “child conscience” develops...

The child who says rude words

A child who says rude words almost always used swear words or insults heard from adults or heard in kindergarten.
Sometimes he makes it out of ignorance; or he does not understand what the word means. Another time, he does it because he is bored. But most often, he insults to attract attention.

From four to five years of age, it happens to many children to have fun to use terms that are associated with the feces or urine. Sometimes small children mimic adult. Another time, they use words in their own repertoire as piss, poop, etc. This is a transitional stage of development.

Bibliography

• Quebec publications / Ministry of Family and Children, 2002. www.mfa.gouv.qc.ca.
• Encyclopedia of Early Childhood Development
  This encyclopedia is published free online. It covers topics that affect the psychosocial development of children from conception to 5 years, and presents the latest scientific knowledge. The beginning of messages on each topic, presented in a convenient format, is for parents and interested parties. www.enfant-encyclopedie.com
• BOURCIER , Sylvie. Aggressiveness in children 0-5 years. Edition of St. Justine Hospital, Quebec, Canada, 2008
• Duclos and Martin Germain Duclos, Increase of child rights , Edition of St. Justine Hospital, Quebec, Canada, 2005